so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm at about main and main street
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
