Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
