I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
