I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize