Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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