i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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