My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
