remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
