i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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