Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're breaking my sexual little heart