Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything