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Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
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