wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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