One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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