You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
