bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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