thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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