He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
