Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
