Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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