Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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