How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
false alarm. still invincible.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
