I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize