Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
