Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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