I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
