He is an equal opportunity slut.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
