plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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