Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
