is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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