just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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