im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
