Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize