I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
