woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize