After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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