Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
