My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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