Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
