Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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