some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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