trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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