PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize