The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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