Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
