i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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