I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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