well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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