the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
