it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I had your ass I would rule the world
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
