why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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