My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
