Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
