About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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