I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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