I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
