I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize