hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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