Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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