i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize