I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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